The new film Anonymous is a cracking political thriller. In the 17th century, Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, writes plays designed to spark revolution against his mother, the Queen of England. But he can’t use his own name, so he enlists an illiterate actor to stand in for him—William Shakespeare.

Filled with real characters, the story adapts conspiracy theories that have swirled around Shakespeare for 150 years. They seek to explain his genius: how could the son of a merchant become the world’s greatest writer? Fans of Anonymous claim that Shakespeare’s plays were written by a man with a university degree, someone widely travelled, someone who understood power.

In short, they think a regular guy couldn’t do it. Despite the fact that de Vere would have written A Midsummer Night’s Dream at nine years old, the filmmakers claim that he ‘is’ Shakespeare, and they’ve distributed lesson plans saying so. It’s a great story, but there’s unequivocal evidence they’re wrong.

Here are a few reasons why:

1. Shakespeare was famous. People loved him, and were jealous of him.

In letters, diaries and published dedications, Shakespeare’s contemporaries compared him to the great writers of Greece and Rome. Other playwrights sneered at his success, and fellow actors, who knew him best, compiled the First Folio as a tribute after his death.  No one doubted Shakespeare’s identity for the next two hundred years.

2. Shakespeare was self-educated, rich, and powerful.

In the rigidly class-conscious world of Elizabethan England, William Shakespeare was allowed to call himself a ‘gentleman.’ He achieved this by being a shareholder in one of London’s top theatres, where he often performed for—and probably met—royalty. He owned property in London and Stratford, and retired a wealthy man.

3. Shakespeare needed help with history.

Shakespeare loved the classics, but he didn’t know them well. Other playwrights often poked fun at the bad classical allusions in his works.  He misremembered stories and mangled names—things that a university-educated writer wouldn’t do.

4. Shakespeare’s lived his life in the theatre.

Shakespeare’s will bequeaths a large sum to three of his theatre colleagues, instructing them to to purchase gold memorial rings. Conspiracy theorists claim that this was inserted later, but the gifts were present when the will was certified in 1616.

5. Other writers came from humble origins, too.

Shakespeare’s contemporaries Ben Jonson and Christopher Marlowe both came from humble origins. They were extremely successful, but no one has ever challenged their identities. This is probably because their work is more difficult than Shakespeare’s, and is rarely performed today. Shakespeare, on the other hand, belongs to us all, but it’s beyond most of us to reckon with his genius.

When pressed, ‘Oxfordians’ can’t offer evidence of why de Vere was Shakespeare; instead, they only cast doubt on William Shakespeare’s authorship. Until they present a more compelling case, enjoy Anonymous for what it is—fiction. To learn more about the conspiracy theories, click here and here.